dear pecos river...

Dear Pecos River,

You’ve wrecked me. In the best possible way. Over and over. For 400 miles, you’ve shown me how small I am and how big my God is…in the vast limestone and deep blue rapids.
Over and over…I’ve cried out in abundant joy within the walls of your remote wilderness. To simply be so present in the rawest of physical states…to be stripped to mostly just the necessary has taught me more than I can articulate in these few sentences.
Over and over…you’ve shown me how to love well…to love with a selfless heart that does not come from my own willpower.
Over and over…I’ve cursed into your harsh winds…I’ve bashed your shallows…I’ve screamed in turmoil at the sight of control slipping through my fingers like the sediment that soils the deepest parts of you. You’ve taught me that control was never mine to have…just like my resilient kayak, I am merely a vessel.
My soul has learned what is truly means to abide in the Lord in the midst of your untamed landscape. Your stars display my heavenly Father’s provision. Your relentless sun gives light to the simple things I take for granted. You have been an incredible challenge conquered. A battlefield. A safe haven. An escape. An old friend. A great fear. A mundane venture. A place of childlike wonder. A long journey with still more to learn.
Over and over, I’ve traversed your wildness. And over and over, I come away humble and stronger. You’ve wrecked me and I am forever grateful for it.

- the gal that set fire to her foot on mi 39